#12: Mannerisms

This is a topic I think is really interesting, because its just cool to see how the world works. I've been talking about this with my friends and roommates so I thought it might make an interesting post as well. One of the many things I've noticed while I'm here is that different cultures go about things differently.

Well duh, Paige, of course they do. What I mean is that we have different mannerisms and my American mannerisms don't always match European's. Now each European country is different, of course, but in general I've seen a few main things. The biggest point is that Europeans prefer to get right to the point. They prefer to be up front and slightly more blunt, not in a bad way of course, I'll explain.

I never really noticed it before, but since coming here I've noticed that Americans like to work around things. For example, when my roommate offers me something I don't like, I don't say I don't like it. Instead I say something like "I don't care for it" or "it's not my favorite". That's my way of saying no, trying to say it gently and politely. But it tends to drive people crazy here, they would rather just hear no than listening to you beat around the bush. And when nature calls, Americans will say "I need to use the restroom" or "I need to go to the bathroom". This way we stay light, don't tell you what's going on, its our way. Here, you'll often here "I need to use the toilet" now that's not considered rude in the U.S. but it would shock someone if you said it to them. To an American, toilet is just associated with all the mess that takes place there, so we just prefer to clean it up with a nicer word. It's beating around the bush again, but 'restroom' just sounds more glamorous than 'toilet'...But it's not like restrooms are meant for glamorous things anyways. I remember asking my mom when I was younger why it was called a 'restroom' because it's not like you're actually resting in there. But with this idea that we like to keep things clean and pristine, I think I understand.

One more observation I've seen along these lines is fashion. When you walk into stores here in Luxembourg, and I'm sure around Europe as trends seem to travel, you'll find a lot of clothes that say "I don't care" or "F*ck Off". For me that was super shocking! You would rarely see someone in the U.S. walking around wearing this stuff because I think the majority of us try to avoid offending others. I'm not sure if this counts as being straight forward, or maybe it's just the thrill of young people wearing edgy English clothes, but this isn't really a style I could see myself getting into any time soon.

Americans also seem to have a code of social cues that hasn't yet made it to Europe. For example, Americans really don't like to tell people no, instead we will come up with some kind of hint to let you down gently. Like if someone asks to attend a party they know you will be at, an American might say something to the effect of "it's just a small get together". That means, it's just my friends and I getting together, I'm sorry you're not invited. But we are so used to these cues that we have learned to decode each other all the time. One topic I talked about with Rita (aka An American in Bonn (http://brenemaninbonn.blogspot.de/) check her out!) is that the dating world in the U.S. is very casual. Before you are officially dating it can be a bit confusing because we don't come outright and say it. We will offer to hang out, or say something about a party on the weekend, but we won't really come out and tell you "hey, let's go on a date".

Thinking of this topic just seems really funny to me, it seems that Americans love to make things complicated to avoid hurting feelings or avoid going to far whereas Europeans like to keep things simple and clear. Cheers!